Hey there! It’s been a while. I haven’t confessed recently but I’ve got plenty to confess.
I write every day. Even on the days when I think I am not writing. I am. It’s just happening in my head.
I write about many things and love learning about almost everything. No labels, no designs, no custom made conformity.
Okay so blog posts are a standard format, but moving on.
While I am working on my first full-length novel, I freelance, participate in an awesome local writing group, and kick back in the chaos that is parenting, marriage, friendships, and life.
But, I wasn’t always here kicking back with confidence in my writing.
When I left my full-time career, it was natural for me to carry all that I’d accomplished in corporate America to how I approached my self-employed business model.
However, as it can happen, I made a mistake.
When I launched my content writing business full time, it was about the hustle and the paycheck.
It didn’t take long before chasing clients and melting down over impossible deadlines drummed up misery and anxiety every day. The more I chased the more unattainable my real dreams became. It wasn’t supposed to be that way.
What didn’t I realize? What was I missing?
I hit pause because it was me. I was missing. It was time to figure myself out again–who was I navigating this life as a new stay at home mom with no career, no deadlines, and no mom to turn to during the toughest times?
It’s kind of like that book, Eat Pray Love, except I was house poor and housebound with kids and no personal income. I opened up to understanding mindfulness and using meditation. I let my fears take a break for a while and just stopped to enjoy life in the moments. Even while grieving for my mother. The grieving never goes away. I suffered setbacks and meltdowns. But I kept searching.
How did I get from anxiety queen to meditation fiend?
With a lot of late sleepless nights, forgiveness of myself and others, and letting go of everything that weighed me down with negativity and no longer served the life peace I was looking for.
- I took a long social media vacation. It was freeing. Breaking up with social media gave me time in my own head where I started to figure things out.
- I learned to live in the moment and put my phone down. Less pictures meant more joy.
- I found my heart again, through all the heartbreak. And it’s still beating.
- I found my voice. It’s been inside my mind all along dying to break free.
- I found my drive and the reason I’m writing this piece today.
- I found my path and this time I wasn’t afraid to walk it, money or not.
I realized I made a mistake when I first set off on my writing career full time. I tried to run a content business rather than focusing on what I loved most: WRITING.
Once I accepted that mistake and I learned how to change my focus, exciting new adventures appeared along with a few great ideas. I’m a freelancer without a label, I’m a poet and songwriter, and I’m an author finishing my first novel, One Way Ticket. I’m traveling my path even after making all those mistakes.